I was speaking with my sister earlier today.
We have an incredible relationship. Both self development junkies and born and raised in the same environment - full of love, family secrets and fraught with the unacknowledged anxieties of our parents, we very often "fall into" conversations about our personal path and how we feel about our progression and growth. On an ongoing basis. Where we are at in all stages of life and what we need to do keep growing.
As siblings, this often comes up in regards to our parents, our familial and village communities and of course, our conditioning.
Today, I shared how the examples I've seen in my life have greatly shaped my path, my sense of self and innate persistence to find my highest potential. For the most part, this is good - I've had excellent examples of leaders in my life and in different forms; my mother, grandmother, family friends, teachers, activity leaders, etc. At the same time, I have come to the awareness that some of my ongoing anxieties are rooted in the fact that I have rarely seen the leaders in my community, in my family, in my life be themselves completely. Especially women of colour.
This is not to offend or criticize, this is how we live. The masks we wear help us feel and stay safe. They protect our true identity. They camouflage our motives and moves until it is safe to reveal them. And yet when we wear the masks of "belonging" - at work, with acquaintances we've yet to truly know, at school, in community... these spaces feel the absence of the true self. The something missing. The incompleteness is stark and we all go on pretending like it is a defect when it is most often a choice.
And so we stay lonely. We remain part from them... and from ourselves unless in private (or with a select few).
I saw somewhere that "being WOKE" is lonely because you have to reduce your level of ascension and understanding so other people can understand where you are coming from. I would say it's that if the people who surround you are unwilling to be enlightened through ongoing self discovery, through self analysis, through conversation and mirroring - your mask goes up right away. You may stick your toe back in the waters to test their reaction to an idea or a comment but like water that's too hot or too cold, you quickly realize getting wet might not be worth it.
Being an intuitive, one of the things I have to keep learning is that just because people ask questions, or say that they "are ready" does not mean that they are ready to take action on what you might consider at YOUR level of ready.
Which is fine but when you recognize this, do you stay in there?